U.S. Unveils Top Secret Saddam Hussein Look-alikes - Correio da Manhá

TERCIERA ISLAND, AZORES—The United States made public last week its program to train Department of Defense employees to act as Saddam Hussein look-alikes.

US Government Personnel Gives Instruction To Saddam Hussein, Saddam Hussein and Saddam Hussein.

The White House Press Secretary told reporters last week that, "with the disappearance of Saddam Hussein and his doubles, our enemy has no face. We saw after 9-11 how difficult it can be to fight an enemy without a face. The Coalition will never be faced with that problem again now that we have three (3) faces to go along with the legend of Saddam Hussein. The failed-state of Iraq only had a double. We have triples and we will ensure democracy has a voice in Iraq just as our enemy will continue to have a face."

Saddam was known to have several look-alikes, men who had undergone surgery and mimicked his gestures and expressions perfectly.

The exact whereabouts of Saddam Hussein or his sons have not been confirmed since Coalition forces began the bombing campaign in March. The real Saddam was well known to employ a number of doubles to fool potential attackers. It is now suspected that one of his doubles is actually posing as a faux dead Saddam Hussein to remove attention from the US and Coalition forces while the real Saddam Hussein takes refuge in South Miami Beach, Florida.

Training commenced on Terceira Island in the Azores Archipelago, roughly 900 miles off the coast of mainland Portugal. The training grounds were the same location of the Azores Summit held on March 16, 2003 which hosted leaders from the United States, Great Britain, Spain and Portugal.

Of the three (3) trainees, two (2) were of Mexican decent, the remaining guy liked to be known as Swedish-Chinese. They were chosen from the Illinois Air National Guard which, for training purposes, was known as the Illinois (Air National) Republican Guard.

	Saddam, Saddam and Saddam pose for reporters.

The grueling training was conducted using the total immersion method. The trainees were taught to wear hats like Saddam, smoke cigars, swim while wearing a visor, fire shotguns in the air, wave in the air and to kiss children. Physical characteristics remain only a part of the look-alike assignment. They must be able to think like an Iraqi and for that quotes of Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, Iraqi Minister of Information were used as inspiration, both intellectual and spiritual. They were continually reminded and had to repeat lines like, "The Americans, they always depend on a method what I call ... stupid, silly. All I ask is check yourself. Do not in fact repeat their lies. The American press is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more lies! I have detailed information about the situation...which completely proves that what they allege are illusions . . . They lie every day. They are not in Baghdad.  They are not in control of any airport.  I tell you this.  It is all a lie.  They lie.  It is a hollywood movie. I have detailed information about the situation . . . which completely proves that what they allege are illusions . . . They lie every day. They think we are retarded - they are retarded."

Training commenced with the three (3) swearing to a statement given by Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, Iraqi Minister of Information when asked the question, "Is Saddam Hussein still alive?"  The three draised their right hands to their hearts and declared, "I will only answer reasonable questions."