78 prisoners walked out of Granja Penal Canada, also known as "El Infierno," maximum security prison on Sunday, June 17th. The jail, in the Escuintla district 34 miles south of the capital, is known locally as ``hell'' because it is situated in one of the hottest regions of Guatemala and holds some of its most dangerous criminals. The doors were left open in a deal arranged by an American know only as "El Pinguino." The original plan involved 5 prisoners serving life sentences, el director of the prison and his 4 subcomandantes, 17 guards, 2 hookers, $130,000 USD and the mysterious "El Pinguino." This has been the largest prison walkout in the history of Central America.

Apparently the prisoners were not happy with the food served in Hell and decided to order some fried chicken from a local food chain, Pollo Campero. According to the deal set up with "El Pinguino" the food was to be delivered by two ladies of the night known only as "the twins." The boxes were to contain no chicken, rather guns to be used for the walk out. Shortly after "dinner" the keys for the prison were "lost" while all of the guards simultaneously took a potty break.

The plan went beautifully according to sources. Things were going so well that the original 5 decided to leave the door open for the cell block´s remaining 73 prisoners who just walked out. El Director, Edwin Gonzalez, refused to comment on how his wife "found" the money to buy a model 2002 Ford Explorer. Sources believe that El Pinguino, who faces US extradition charges of sloth, is in La Antigua Guatemala posing as a foreign student in one of the town´s 50 Spanish schools. Official sources deep inside the Guatemalan government declared that they will deny any extradition requests by the United States government.